"I was the darling of my father among the six children," says Shashikala, chewing on the past. My father Anantrao Jawalkar was a textile trader. People looked up to our rich, well-educated, and proud family. As a child, I used to take part in Maharashtra Mela and Ganeshotsav dramas and win a child artiste award every time, but no one came up with the idea of taking acting seriously as a profession. One day I had to take care of the family's livelihood. Shashikala's younger brother was sent to England to become a chartered accountant. It was hoped that he would take care of the family. Unfortunately, it never came back. Leaving his family in abject poverty, he settled abroad.
His story became as tragic as the story of a Hindi film ... The only difference was that it was factual. The 'A' days were like hell. Having to go without food for days. Sometimes dad's friends would call for a family meal. Sometimes it was my turn to go to bed with only water. A friend of my father asked me to try my luck in films to find a way out of this predicament. My dad and I wandered around the studio. Once Noor Jahan saw me. Picked me up for adornment. That was my first film. '
I remember exactly my first shot. There was a scene of Qawwali. Qawwali only sang to men when they did not learn to fill it. For the first time, Zohra Begum, Noor Jahan, Shamshad Begum, Samsara Begum and I went to Qawwali together. I was not nervous. Actually I was the one storming on set. I couldn't forget the gorgeous girl seeing that Qawwali on the screen. I looked sleek, delicate and nice. Even today I admire the beauty of the distance by looking in the mirror, ”he laughs.
Although they are talented and beautiful, heroin-oriented roles are not very common. The conflict was still going on so he started taking on character roles. 'All my films as heroines failed at the box office. Sadly, the same rule applies today. A hit in Mumbai increases the prestige in the society. It doesn't matter if you are a good actress or not. ' Shashikala's tone was one of regret.
'I was making a living and needed a lot of money so I would accept whatever role I got. Vamp's title stuck with Tarachand Badjatya's Aarti. The film was based on a Marathi play. I was offered a small role with a conspiratorial sister-in-law or Ashok Kumar. My family insisted I roll the vamp. I accepted even though I had to pay less for the roll. I was very much appreciated and applauded after the release of the film. '
Thus Shashikala made an on-screen appearance. Then he started getting many offers and awards. Over the years, he has received five and two popular awards from Bengal journalists. The experience of the popular awards, however, was bad. Once received a nomination for Flower Aur Patthar and Anupama. I was sure I would get an award for one of the two, but the organizers said. If you have received an award before, why don't you withdraw your name this time. I was very shocked. I felt that despite sitting for the exam, I did not get the required marks. So I withdrew my name forever.
'Now that I am financially viable, I am determined to make life better for my brothers and sisters. My parents also lived comfortably. When it came to finding the right sculptures for me, finding pearls in the depths of the ocean was a daunting task. No one was willing to marry me. Because I used to work as a vamp in movies. People assumed I could only flirt, drink, smoke. He believed the screen image to be true.
In fact, I was a very different person. Only Om Prakash Saigal, who lives in my neighborhood, understood me. He proposed marriage to my father. Today our daughters are equal to the fruit of our virtue.
'The first half of the 150's was the worst phase of my life. Suffering from professional stress and personal problems I went to Igatpuri and engaged in yogasanas for fifteen years. Vipassana, based on the teachings of Gautama Buddha, awakened the spiritual consciousness in me. The characters I played in earlier films had a tremendous effect on the body and mind. Today, I can get out of the character immediately. '
After meditating, he went to Calcutta and visited Mother Teresa's The Missionaries of Charity. ' Unfortunately I could not find Mother Teresa as she was abroad at the time. I met Sister Agnes. I was a filmstar so he thought I had gone for publicity. But I was willing to do whatever it took to change his mind. Our work is dirty and time consuming. Sister warned me. I have come here to serve the poor. I replied. Three of my interviews were conducted during the four days that Jajru cleaned up. On the sixth day, I was assigned to bandage two injured patients. For the first time I was seeing a bare wound. So the tension came. It occurred to me that I could not cross as expected by the sister. But I cared for the patients so much that the sisters became tickled. At that moment, the same thing happened in my mind. I thanked Ishu for keeping me healthy. Later, when I met my mother, I hugged her and cried like a baby. I told him I was lonely and I felt tremendous peace. Mother Teresa said in a gentle voice God bless you. My suffering subsided and I found peace of mind. '
Describing his own experiences, he says: 'I took care of two mentally retarded children, one was 16 years old and the other was 14 years old. Both of them were completely destitute. Laughing and sometimes smiling, they were like little angels unaware of worldliness. It was my duty to make her bed, feed her and bathe her. There were many tuberculosis patients. Despite constant physical care and exposure, I did not become infected. When I told my mother, she said: My child miracles happen. I never got tired of working. But she was exhausted from getting out of the quarters. No wealth can equal the satisfaction that selfless service gives. We have to serve without any expectation, there is no hatred, anger and resentment, there is only love. When patients are counting the hours of death, we hold their pulse and pray so that they can leave the body with peace of mind. One of my daughters recently died of cancer. His death did not disturb me, for I knew he would be happy in the Hereafter. '
After a gap of eight years, Shashikala made a comeback once again on the big screen of the film and on the small screen of TV.
How did the idea of a comeback come about?
Vinod Dua knocked me out when he visited my farm. Shashikalaji actresses have come and gone but no one can take your place? When I went to see All the Best play, Dev Anand met me and asked why I had given up acting. Also, people with vegetables, fruits and rickshaws kept inquiring about my return. With all this love, I am drawn back. Shashikala, who has played roles with different aspects, is a satisfied woman today. Apart from Nirma Aha and Junoon serials, I have also done films like Maharaja, Lahu Ke Do Rang and Salma Pe Dila Aa Gaya. Sawanji once said to me: If Meenakumari were alive today, I would have offered this role to her.
I am blessed to have received such a compliment recently. Personally I am happy and in touch with my offspring. Mother Teresa told me: The arrogance of the actress and the person Shashikala gradually disappeared in the dormitory. You are a different person today. He has accepted the truth that you were born here and are going to die here. Keep doing your duty without expecting anything in return. '
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Thanx for your precious time